The Memory Quilt

Gazing at the moon and stars, my mind recalled a time 37 years ago.  Sitting in a rocking chair feeding my 6 month daughter her bedtime bottle. Cradled in my arms, I always whispered her to sleep with my voice, along with the timeless motion of the rocking chair. Stroking her head, filling my hand with the love she had added to my life, my heart. Our mother-child bond grew with every feeding, every loving whisper. She would eagerly drink the bottle, looking at me with her big blue eyes, blinking and waiting for my whisper to begin. "Are you ready?" I ask. Her chubby legs wiggled and she raised her eyebrows as though saying: "Yes mommy". So I began, the story, always being the same theme. Her eyes on the whispers of my voice, "You have lots of dreams inside you. Each dream will be created by a special talent that belongs to only you. You’re special; you’re very, very special. I promise that I will listen and help you develop that talent and those dreams. Oh yes, you have a lot to do. Oh you’re going to be very busy building those dreams." Again, her chubby legs wiggled and her sweet hand touched my mouth. "I might not be able to give you a lot of toys or fancy clothes. That’s not what builds dreams anyway; it's the talent inside you, the passion in your heart." She then placed her tiny hand on my chest, smiled, closed her eyes and went to sleep. "Yes, my child, sleep within your dreams, I will always listen to your heart speak, helping you nurture your talents."

Peace, Love, Joy to All,
Caren

Caren’s smile reflects her confidence in the power of love. She is a mainstay writer on many blogs where she digs deeply into topics of love, healing, gratitude and the evolution of Earth healing initiatives. Her charms as a provocative writer are reflected in her strong yet quiet voice. Caren is dedicated to living her unfolding life on her own terms, which she defines as, “Living in the moment with the fluid truth of my evolving process.”


(((Thanks Caren, Zensational)))

May The Force Be With You

I can’t stop thinking about a conversation i was drawn to the other night.

Given the innocuous set of circumstances, i could never have foreseen that somehow i would be compelled to provide a short list of harrowing circumstances that i have encountered as examples of; "i too have suffered". Even more shocking to me, i started with, being threatened to be shot, and continued including mild assaults, harassments and intimidations. It was a very short list, and as the days between grow i find an inner dialogue expands the list with really impressive dramatic moments of life, death and encounters with dark forces.

((((“ Moments”, ….if you have been in the presence of darkness, would you agree with me that it is just within moments, when it is realized, a potential for darkness to control the moment?)))

For those folks who don’t know me, i too am innocuous. Perhaps this is where the conversation may have held a thread of familiar that drew me in, i can only suppose. I am no Jedi warrior, my age, gender, physical characteristics, temperament and very dull life routines create a quirky, nonchalant, invisibility in a group. In every situation where i was in the presence of “the dark side”,  it may also be true that i was innocuous, an ant involved in the purpose of my task and therefore had the responsibility to do the task, believing that the task was the purpose which held me in, and would lead me out, within that perspective i continued to give “the task” my whole hearted attention.

((((Admittedly it was a spontaneous conversation and i had not given it any previous thought, so regrettably i left out all the really interesting, colorful, events. I am not a list keeper by nature, unless the list is established to remind me to do something very innocuous. )))

Bottom line truth, i have always felt safe. I don’t intentionally initiate dangerous episodes, yet i am not afraid of things that evolve and are outside of my control. I believe my life has purpose. I don’t try to paraphrase or list the purposes, to do so would limit my opportunities to events that i can realize and that would limit me to a very small area of possibilities. Could i have imagined myself riding in front of a crowd in a bullring in Spain? Living in mansions? Giving birth to children? Being shot at? Sailing? Watching a tornado pass me by? [Once again a short list of reality episodes given for a sensationalized backdrop to draw you in.] I was born with a Zen perspective; i think it is called faith. I believe i am apart of a bigger life than my own, which for me needs no explanations or rationalization.

There is a Zen premise that i don’t understand well enough to discuss, but i am mindful of, so to maybe catch  glimpses of understanding. It is the belief that in life we experience suffering and suffering is one with experiencing life.

I realize, the roots of my suffering are fertilized by my own struggles to love, me, holistically, as I am. I realize that my connection to all the moments of extreme joy, passion and love have been experienced in moments when i have been of no mind, with no further intentions other than unconditional surrender to a purpose greater than i. (((This truly has been learned through experience not formal education.)))

This may be the same threads, which run through contentment with “innocuous, quirky, nonchalant, invisibility’ as well as inner contentment when living in the center of the forces of nature’s greatness, dark or light?

May The Force Be With You,

Zen Dog

poster found @

Dear Father and Precious Mother,
sometimes we choose,
sometimes we are chosen,
grant me the gifts of acceptance,
balance, and your breath within my breath,
so that i may keep pace.
lovingly, i open all i posses to our journey along the paths we walk as ONe
(trust, is the greatest of these small possessions)

witten 9.23.09
dbc/zendog/Katherine

The Gift of Providence

"The dharma that is taught and the dharma that is experienced are descriptions of how to use your life to wake you up rather than put you to sleep. And if you choose to spend the rest of your life trying to find out what awake means and what asleep means, I think you might attain enlightenment. "

Pema Chodron; Wisdom Of No Escape

Frost covered the ground this morning as my sneakers slid along with the dogs. Lightly covered with fragile glaze, grass lay in giant cupcake mounds tumbled about in various directions. Ice began to form on the pond over night. The morning light hit the last colors of fall encouraging the browns into gold’s; the colors sent me back twenty-five years; light filters through the kitchen window highlighting the same fall hues in our son's hair. I hear him joyously speak; “Mom,” I clearly see his little hands, twirling fingers animated with information, wispy lavender nails, yellow fuzzy footed pajamas, and smell the warming aromas that embodied his nature, his tasks, his processes. From the corners of this moment his older sister chats knowingly behind blonde bangs. The light carries an unpretentious, inclusive spirit of love. Life is this moment, within this moment is life, the ordinary is extraordinary, leaving nothing else to desire, to realize, no finer riches to achieve. One step at a time in providence we continue.

Together We Walk As One,

Zen Dog

Rob with Lexie, his business partner and terrific girlfriend, are currently employed, by the owners of the sailing vessel Rivendell, [out of Holland]. They are somewhere in the Atlantic, sailing the ARC Race, then will continue to circumnavigate aboard Rivendell for the next year or more. Connect to ARC Blog.

The Presence of Synergy

With the first snap of sharp cold and holiday festivities upon us, i am reminded of the New England shoreline in winter. Strong winds lifts salt scum and as the tides recede, glistening, bejeweled, bubble mounds create lace margins where water once flowed. When the children were young we had a dog that could not stay home. She loved the beach and all the sea foods that laid waiting in the sands. She visited various neighbors and collected other dogs to join her in her travels. Around Christmas i told the children i saw her, on the beach, in secret meetings, with her canine followers. I related tales of mysterious behaviors as i updated them with my daily observations of the canines cavorting, until i realized the mission, they were preparing for their own Christmas celebration. Each day after snacks of fowl sea foods, i saw them practicing to perform a nativity pageant, to my surprise, in the center of it all, Tigger, our free spirited dog, was the Baby Jesus. My storytelling would have been laughed off by the kids had Tigger not lain down on the floor still as ice when i said the words Baby Jesus. I didn't train her to do so, it synergistically happened each time i told the story ending with the words Baby Jesus; Tigger, the Springer Spaniel who couldn’t stay home, would demonstrate a quiet down position.

Warm HUgs and Loving Energy to All,

Zen Dog

Painting on Photo: 1980 Tigger and Katherine